Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Kid's Clean is NOT Clean!

Jay broke my 2-cup Pyrex glass measuring cup. Then, thinking he could get it all cleaned up without anyone noticing it (much the way kids are prone to do), he totally missed a bunch of tiny fragments and one large piece (it went under the stove). I discovered this, because as I was searching for that measuring cup, I cut the bejeezus out of my foot with the tiny fragmented shards. The shards loved my skin so much, they made themselves a nice little bloody home in my shredded sole. You see, when a kid says, "I cleaned that" they are really declaring the need for someone a bit (read: far) more meticulous to actually clean it.

I instructed him, amidst my complete mess of a foot, how to properly get more glass fragments off the floor as to prevent another person, or me again, into this bloody mess I now was. He says he swept the floor with the Swiffer™ (to get all the miniscule bits better, or at least shove them into the corner) then used the vacuum to get the rug, corners, and edges.

Clearly, when he said, "Yes, I did exactly as you stated," he was again declaring, "I didn't do any of what you said, except the Swiffer™ thing and the vacuum was turned on so you wouldn't suspect me not doing any of what you said, again except the Swiffer™ thing." I know this, because when I went into the kitchen to prepare my infamous potato-hashbrown-salad for my lunch, I once again, shredded my foot. We all knew that if any small miniscule barely visible by the naked eye fragment was left anywhere, my foot would be the victim and not just in any normal way. (Really, who has known anything to happen to me in a normal way?) It embedded itself into my middle toe! Not at the tip of the toe, mind you! In that little known toe-pit, where bandages are not wont to go! I had to sit with a napkin scrunched into the crook for something like two hours! I didn't know I had that much blood in me! I even elevated my foot to alleviate the flow!

It's all cleaned up now. By me. Hopefully. Will find out when I venture into the danger zone again to make dinner!

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